Sep 10, 2008

So Grateful...

So, now that I'm up periodically throughout the night and the wee hours of the morning, I have a bit more time to surf the internet or blog (one-handed, of course) and tonight I came across a blog that really got to me. So much, in fact, that I couldn't go back to sleep. It was the blog of a family who recently lost their baby girl to a tragic drowning. I have actually read this blog before, but not since I had the baby. Now that I am mom, it just hit home and I found myself in tears. As I read this sweet woman's blog, where I'm sure she can only communicate just a tiny portion of her experience and the pain and heartache that she experiences daily from the loss of her little girl, my heart was filled with sadness and gratitude. Sadness for this grieving family and the trial they have been faced with, and gratitude for my beautiful, healthy, perfect baby girl. I can not imagine my life without Sienna in it. Words cannot describe how much I love this little one. I love everything about her--the way she smells, her tiny button nose, her grunts and squeeks, the way she sleeps with her arms straight above her in the air, all that dark hair, the occasional smile we get to see when she is sleeping, that she just loves to cuddle and fall asleep on my chest, even that newborn cry that I was so scared of. So, although I hate being pregnant, and there are endless poopy diapers to change, and aches and pains of labor to recover from, and delirium and exhaustion from sleepless nights, and extra baby weight, I wouldn't trade it for the world. It's all so worth it. Being a mother is THE sweetest experience, sweeter than anything I could ever imagine. I am eternally grateful to my Heavenly Father for trusting me to take care of one of his precious babies. My heart is full. My cup runneth over...

6 comments:

Katie said...

I feel the same exact way! I think I used to have conversations to you about the feeling I had about motherhood before you were even pregnant...I'm so glad you're a mommy and feels these amazing feelings! She's beautiful Holly!

Rebecca S said...

Isn't it true - everything changes when you're a mom. Who knew our hearts could hold so much? And don't worry - in a few years you'll get a good nights sleep again (ok, maybe a little sooner than that) ;)

Bagozzi Family said...

Sometimes I look at my kids, and I get this intense fear that something is going to happen to them. The thought of loosing a child is frightning. I can't imagine...

Jadie said...

I know, it's amazing how in love with them you fall.

Jensen Family said...

O Holly she is sooooooooo beautiful and I'm so happy for your new little family. I have to come and meet her and get my baby fix expect a call soon.
xoxo

Amy said...

Holly! She is absolutely precious and adorable. I am so excited for you and Dan! Congrats! I miss you guys! We are coming to Utah the week before Christmas! I would love to get together!